A Walk to Remember ...

October

2011-10-16T17:59:00.003+08:00

I cannot believe August have come and go. It is now October and my holiday for about a week is around the corner. There is a sense of wanting this holiday so badly to allow my body to rejuvenate with what I have lost. But, there is also a certain tingling sensation telling me that right after my holidays will be my greatest fear haunting me, examination.

Today, I went into a household department filled with cutleries. With all the shining forks and spoons, wain glasses and so forth suddenly makes me feel so good. I was wondering if one day I could lay my hands in picking every one of those shining beauties for my own house. Having a family? Pfft ... What about a date? I am not even on that step yet.

Relationships?
Love seems so easy at times when I see people changing their partners. How could love be at such a low value? How could it be so easy to let go of the person whom you have once loved before. Doesn't that make you ponder about it at all?

I have never got into one and do not know what real love is actually all about. But deep within me love for a person cannot be diminished so easily. Love has its very own value.

Best of Luck

2011-08-13T01:41:00.000+08:00

It has been a while and yes I have indeed miss blogging. Time flies , and my best friend is flying off. We have been through the rough challenges of life together and even as you go remember I will always support the things and decisions u make in life. Best of luck , mate ! Love you loads <3

Things have been quite uptight for me these days. My second semester had begun for a while now and life is back to the same old hectic days where assignments await you. Life is pretty good yet at times no doubt that there are certain trials along the way.
Life is not a bed of roses but it is never a bed of thorns either.

Short post but it will do for now. Toodles !

Soulless For A Day

2011-06-15T03:54:00.000+08:00

I lie wide awake in the wee hours of morning thinking . 3 a.m. , yes that is what the clock shows .

Yesterday , I subconsciously waited patiently as I went along with the slow passage of hours . Somehow , you have never turned up and I was exhausted . Perhaps sitting in front here for hours , it had taken its toll on me , forbidding my body to wait any longer but I was still waiting within me . True enough , I guess I have never wanted to admit it to myself .

Alongside , as I waited on my bed , it did not happen . Things that I thought or expected did not turn out right . I read a book while I was still waiting the whole time . Whether the book was touching or my heart was aching I do not know but I cried . My heartache began to take all control over me and I could not help fight the tears but to let it flow . I sat there with both my eyes swollen , blankly looking outside the bright shining stars making my little wish hoping it comes true . As I sat there , I was all tired and realized myself dozing off to sleep .

My head was spinning with thoughts leaving me with the remnants of what we have shared into the back of my head . Painfully felt deep in me as I feel I was not appreciated for my day waiting . The little words I wanted to hear began to just fade away with my heart longing for more , words from you . Whether you are avoiding me for a good cause or reason , I just want you to be honest with me .

Soulless for a day . I hope it ends soon . I hope the pain goes just like the morning breeze is blowing . A deep sigh ...

Gravity

2011-06-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

Two dreaded weeks of exams has finally come to an end . 4 weeks of holidays are right ahead of me . Gravity is working against me , pulling me down when I am suppose to feel all pumped up for the days to come . Why is that so ?

Lost . Yes , a right word for me .

Just yesterday , I went for a jab , Hepatitis Booster . Two days before , my mind had been sinking in to the thought of what it would be like . Even the slightest thought of the jab gives me a certain chill down my spine . But , when I really sat down to have the dose injected into me , it was not the jab which is painful but the thought before the jab .

Doctor : *Injects*
Me : *Close eyes*
Doctor : Aww ... What a clever girl . I can see no tears . There you go ! It's over now .
Me : *Blink Blink* Thank you , Doctor .

And so , it made me feel so nice to be a small girl once again .

Thank You !

2011-05-21T00:13:00.001+08:00

Just a big thank you for the wonderful chocolate . Thank you ... :)

Would I Rather ?

2011-05-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

1. Live without music or live without T.V.?
I would rather live without Tvee . Hmm , I believe that music is the heart and outburst of our soul .

2. Eat a bar of soap or drink a bottle of dish washing liquid ?
Seriously ? Gosh , I think I would rather just eat a bar of soap than to swallow down a bottle of dish washing liquid . I mean it looks pretty much smaller than a whole bottle of washing liquid right ?

3. Hold your pee forever or have an uncontrollable bladder?
I would hold my pee forever than to go through the embarrassment caused with an uncontrollable bladder with pee all over the floor . :/

4. Be called a racist or a traitor to your country?
I would rather be called a racist ? Erm ? What a question ? *sounds better than a traitor*

5. Be trapped in an elevator with wet dogs or with three fat men with bad breath ?
I guess I would rather be trap with wet dogs . Because , fat men with bad breath I do not think I will survive that .

6. Lose your legs or lose your arms?
Lose my legs . Perhaps there are more things I can do with my arms than legs .

7. Have a beautiful house and an ugly car or an ugly house and a beautiful car?
I would rather have a beautiful house and an ugly car . Home is the most comfortable place I will fall back after a hard day at work but a car is just a vehicle that brings me around . I spend most of my time at home , not the car .

8. Be blind or deaf?
Be deaf . Blind is as though it brings no meaning to life and everyday would be just days in darkness .

9. Live in Antarctica or Death Valley?
I would rather live in Antarctica than Death Valley . At least I know I will survive longer than in “Death” Valley .

10. Find true love or 10 million dollars?
True love . Yes , True love . Money is not everything but everything needs money . Still , love weighs heavier than money has to offer you .

11. Always say what’s on your mind or never speak again?
I will always say what is on my mind . I guess it makes me feel better ?

12. Have pom-poms for hands or glow sticks for fingers?
Definitely pom-poms . Perhaps I am more of the Girly Girl .

13. Be able to hear any conversation or take back what you said?
Take back what I said . At times , I guess things I regret saying , if I was only given a chance I would take them back .

14. End hunger or hatred?
I would rather end hatred though I love food a lot . Still , hatred eats me up from within as time passes and so I would rather go through physical hunger than to face emotional distress of hatred .

15. Always lose or never play?
Perhaps never play to not lose ? :/

16. Fly when you fart or pee when you laugh?
Pee when I laugh . Because , I think flying when I fart is never possible and to cover up is a hard task .

17. Know it all or have it all?
I would rather know it all to have it all .

18. Give bad advice or take bad advice?
Hmm … take bad advice since advices are not all to be followed fully . I make my judgements and decisions .

19. Have a mansion in the middle of nowhere or an apartment with 10 friends?
An apartment with 10 friends . Hmm .. life would be more interesting .

20. Be forgotten or hatefully remembered?
I would rather be forgotten . Bad impression of myself still lingering in memories of others for so long ? Bad idea .

21. Not be able to use your phone or your email?
Maybe , just maybe my phone . There is always a house phone or public phone right ?

22. Be rich with an unhappy job or make less money with a job you like?
Making less money with the job I like . Life is not only about money . Living life to the fullest is what counts most .

23. Be able to read everyone’s mind all the time or always know their future?
Be able to read everyone’s mind all the time . I have always been wanting to do so . People are very different in their perceptions and so I want to read minds .

24. Eat a handful of hair or lick three public telephones?
Eat a handful of hair . I do not think is tastes that bad plus is not that dirty either .

25. Be schizophrenic or have amnesia?
Schizophrenic . I can hallucinate on foooood and think that I had my meals where I actually did not have . Good way to lose weight !

26. Marry a vain person or a person with poor image?
I would marry a vain person because I am vain too ..

27. Eat 30 pounds of cheese in one sitting or a bucket of peanut butter without water?
Eat 30 pounds of cheese in one sitting since I love cheese more . If I ever do so , to end up not a spinster , I will give my hand in proposal to my cheese and live happily ever after .

Inspired

2011-05-15T01:55:00.000+08:00

Handle With Care

2011-05-14T12:12:00.000+08:00

Hello world !
Here I am all refreshed after my shower with my hair dripping wet on both my shoulders . Munching on a bun with a finger typing , I have come to decide on writing my blog post or to at least update about something .

This week ? It was just like any other ordinary days but I was rather clumsy than ever before . As I opened my room door in the hostel , I literally banged on it . How could anyone be as clumsy as I am . The worst part is that I have got a huge green bruise on my arm . Oh wait , that is not the worst , I cannot wear sleeveless tee now . Gosh !

As I got into my palpation classes this week , a colleague of mine palpated on my arm and yes , I have got bruises again . That struck me on how fragile I was . The pressure exerted on my skin were rather average . Well , this reminded me on how it was when we had our first test on practical palpation for arm and forearm . That was when I became the modal . As I sat on the cushion with both my arms on the pillow , a few of my colleagues palpated on me for their test session . After that , when they were done I left the practical room . Then , I overheard some whispers and turned to look around . They were both the male colleagues who palpated on my arm muscles earlier for the palpation test . They approached me and told me that they did not dare to palpate my hands , afraid that they will anyhow break my bones . And yes , I was literally that breakable .

And so , when my course mates see me with bruises , there goes the phrase " Bad day eh ? Fell down again ? " .. Thus , I was labelled as the 3L (Lembut , Lembik and Lembab) . Honestly , I would rather just be called a Lembu :/

The Beauty of a Great Fall

2011-04-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

Pranching down the stairs with a sense of loneliness after the weekends with my family , there was a huge part of me that is reluctant to return to the hostel . Carrying two large metal mugs down the ground floor to refill some water , I dragged myself up the stairs once again to return to the oh-so-empty room . As dreaded as I am , I pushed myself to walk up the stairs and this was when the beauty draws in . I literally tripped over the stairs and *Voila* there it is .

Both my hands were tightly gripped on the mugs and silly me , I did not let go any of it nor did I threw it as far as it can possibly go , at least away from myself to get a grip . A loud thundering crash of the lids on the mug were heard as they fell right down the ground . On the other hand , I myself also landed hard on the surface of that flight of stairs with no support . As clumsy as I am , I nearly fell face flat on the floor . Just a few inches away or my face would turn out like a piece of bacon with a red Rudolph nose .

At that instance , I heard a strong manly voice shouting " What is it ? " . I knew it was the security guard and so I ran into the lift to avoid the humiliation of being seen . A sense of numbness just crawled right up beneath my skin and to be precise even my bone hurt , tears were streaming down my cheeks as it was so painful . The pain and numbness was felt throughout the whole time I was awake .

When I woke up the next morning , the pain on my leg was still there . Worried as always , I thought my bone fractured because of the unbearable pain and I was going to be amputated . At least I have a reason to be worried about alright ? The colour changed from pinkish red into black ... Well , of course I was worried sick and there were three patches found on my leg but only one was the major pain which is currently recovering .

The Beauty of a Great Fall ...

Happy Good Friday ! Till next time ... :)

A Wandering Mind ...

2011-04-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

In wee hours of the morning , I am still sitting here with some thoughts just flying about in my mind .
I have been trying to indulge myself into thinking about nothingness just to fall asleep by keeping my mind blank but instead the harder I try the harder I tend to think about thinking into nothingness . Pretty confusing eh ?

I was out all morning and noon to get myself a pair of pretty shoes . At least shopping makes me happy . Somehow , I deserve a day out like this since I have not been able to have do it in the past three months I suppose . Saturday classes were energy drench-ers . Assignments , presentations and projects ... Urgh ... I am just glad that it is over for now .

While shopping around , I cannot help but observe pretty things and pretty people around me . It just made me wondered for a moment there on possibilities where that one person could be so beautiful and flawless . For a while there , a sense of envy just rushed from my inner self . How envious ...

Anyway , I am into flats lately .
There a simple looking pair of flats ...

There were a few pairs which I liked but there was only one unique pair that really caught my eyes . It was something a little too much for me to wear to college or so I thought it would be such a waste to wear just for attending classes . *A deep sigh ..*

There ... Is is not pretty ? I LOVE this pair <3 <3 <3 <3 ...

It is late now . I'll update . Stay Tuned and a very good night ! :)

A Reminder ?

2011-04-16T00:53:00.000+08:00

This past week , things were still pretty rough somehow . Things were not the usual , not the same . People said I have changed but the change was of no good . It had done no good to me nor did it to my family . They saw me changed from a tender-loving girl into a ferocious being . I was often sensitive with words spoken by others and without noticing it I became over protective over myself . Neurotic ? I suppose you can call me one .

Lecturer : You've been quiet all day today . Are you alright ?
Me : *Nods*
Lecturer : You sure ? Do you have anything you want to share with me ?
Me : Is being serious in life a bad thing ?
Lecturer : No , in fact it's actually good because it shows responsibility in you .
Me : Well ... at least someone agreed . *Relieved*
Lecturer : But ...
Me : There's a but ?
Lecturer : But ... being too serious in life like how you have turned to be is hurting yourself . You're not doing yourself a favour but instead losing out all the fun that life has to offer you . Think it through Phoebe ... :)
Me : *Ouch* .. That hurts ...

That was one . Guess what ? On the exact same day , I have got the same thing from my mom .
"My daughter had changed into a person I barely knew . Why are you so impulsive and hot tempered these days ?"
Yeah ... I pretty much realized it now . Sometimes I wonder in ways I ought to have change . Perhaps it was a reflex response I hold against people before I was hurt by them . Paranoid ? Yes pretty much that word . I have been losing out so much and I think is the right time to have a good grasp of all my missing pieces . Care to lend a hand in helping me find the missing puzzle pieces ?

Shall update soon ... Au Revoir .

Blog revived ...

2011-04-03T18:46:00.000+08:00

Howdy !
My blog has just been revived at least for now . Have not been catching up with you folks out there for quite some time . You know who you are . I have been drown in the huge pile of assignments these days and we have to hangout soon to update each other about ourselves .
Lately , things have not gone so well for me . Somehow , that made me think of the times we had in high school . Things were getting on so much better back then.

Just recently , people who entered and made an appearance in my life tend to have left me . For once , that is how I felt . It hurts me when I drew more comfortable with them that they will be leaving me in the end and that is what happened . Important people who are significant in my life . Why were they taken away from me when I know I can rely on them ? It strucked me hard enough to realize I was not worth their presence especially when I know I was rejected in every situation I could possibly think of . At least , for that moment when circumstances were made to make me feel that way .

It has been rough to pull through . Things do change for a better right ? Or that is what I hope for ... :)